Category: Sports

The Hall Of Fame Tipoff Classic’s Monday News And Views

Hall

In 1891, when James Naismith first instructed his Springfield students to throw a soccer ball into peach baskets to avoid going out into the harsh New England winter, he had know idea that a tournament would one day be played in his honor. But, this past weekend, some 120 years after the invention of the game, one of the best basketball teams in the country and some mediocre ones gathered in Uncasville, Connecticut for the Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame Tip-off Classic. Those who witnessed the event called it the most exciting thing that has gone on in Uncasville since Tim McGraw played back-to-back shows over the summer. Literally hundreds of people – including Rajon Rondo, Worldwide Wes, Dan Issel, Andy Katz, and the Petersons from Shelbyville – packed the Mohegan Sun Arena for the final two rounds of the eight-team tournament. Sunday’s championship game pitted the No. 2 ranked Kentucky Wildcats and the Elder Dominions. It was a close battle for most of the contest but the Wildcats claimed the title in the end. The championship was also a moral victory for Kentucky head coach John Calipari, who finally silenced those critics who said he would never win one with one-and-dones. Well, Calipari haters, this tiny glass trophy is for you.

To your News and Views…

– Obviously, the story of the weekend was Kentucky’s successful run through the Hall of Fame Tip-Off Classic. Saturday’s game was the much more enjoyable game to watch of the two, but both were good games for the Cats going forward. Kentucky ran through Penn State with ease in the first game with 26 points from Doron “Nappy Boy” Lamb and another 19 from one half of the White Boy Academy, Kyle Wiltjer. The Cats showed their unselfishness with 19 assists on 28 field goals while knocking down 50% of their three-point attempts.

– The second game, however, was a whole ‘nother story. Kentucky struggled throughout against Old Dominion on Sunday, failing to really establish a comfortable lead until late in the game. The Monarchs led through most of the first half while Kentucky fans – and John Calipari – ripped their hair out watching Marquis Teague handle the ball. It seemed like the Kentucky point guard turned the ball over every single time he touched it. The box score credits Teague for six turnovers but there were plenty of times he lost control of the ball but was fortunate enough to have a teammate track it down. After the game, Calipari said his team played a “loop”, which is a zone offense that UK hasn’t used before. That could explain Teague’s struggles and the team’s 21 turnovers in the game.

– Another thing this team is going to have to work on going forward is their attitudes. I’ll be honest, I can’t stand Terrence Jones when he flexes and stares down defenders after a made basket. Doing it once or twice a game is great — no one loves trash talking more than me — but Jones does it entirely too much. Take your points and get back on defense. You’re supposed to be dominating these guys. That, and the jawing that led to the technical foul was completely uncalled for and 100% Jones’s fault. We don’t need that. Same goes for Marquis Teague a couple plays later, although he was provoked. It’s okay to be cocky, but don’t be thugs about it. John Wall was cocky with that “You Can’t Stop Me” smile on his face. That’s what we want to see, not what we saw on Sunday. (Now go kill me in the comments section.)

– I think it’s safe to say that the outcome of the game would’ve been different without Darius Miller. He played great on both ends of the floor and he was the glue that held everyone together when it was getting ugly. Darius finished with 13 points, five assists, and four rebounds in 28 minutes and played his role as leader perfectly. I hate to see him not in the starting five as a senior, but it might be the best place for him. He’s exactly what this young team needs coming off the bench. He’ll get his minutes either way.

Kentucky entered its game against Georgia

– It wasn’t all basketball this weekend for Kentucky, the Cats played a solid game down in Athens too. Kentucky entered its game against Georgia as a 31-point underdog against the Bulldogs and had a realistic shot of winning until a late fumble by Max Smith at the Kentucky 10. Georgia would score three plays later to make it 19-10, the way it would end. Take away that fumble and Ashely Lowery’s fumble before the half, and 10 free points come off the board for Georgia and we could be looking at a different outcome. But like someone in the comments section said, if Grandma had ashe’d be Grandpa. If, if, if.

– The loss to Georgia ruins any hopes for a bowl game for the Cats. That means this Saturday’s game against Tennessee is the bowl game. We’ve said it every November for the last five years, but I honestly think Kentucky has a chance. Unlike previous years when we’ve said Kentucky is good enough to compete, I think Tennessee is bad enough to suck with us. Tyler Bray coming back is huge for the Volunteers, though. #BeatTennessee

– Has there been a better weekend in college football…ever? Four of the nation’s Top 10 teams lost over the weekend in four of the most exciting games we’ve seen all season. Iowa State pulled off an enormous comeback to beat No. 2 Oklahoma State in double overtime on Friday; USC fought off an incredible comeback by Oregon to take down the No. 4 Ducks in Eugene; No. 5 Oklahoma learned that Baylor’s RG-III is the real deal; and No. 7 Clemson, well, they got spanked by NC State. It all helps set up that LSU-Alabama rematch for the National Championship that everyone wants to see. It also means that Monday’s top three teams in the country all come from the SEC West.

– There is a video from the Tennessee locker room that tells the story of how the Vols football program has fallen. The video has been pulled from YouTube but I was lucky enough to catch it before it disappeared. It was taken in the Tennessee locker room right after the win over Vandy and the players are going absolutely crazy. You’d think they just won the National Championship by the way they’re acting. They are throwing Derek Dooley in the air (seriously) and carrying him around on their shoulders. Some of the players look like they’re crying. After a few minutes of celebration, Dooley silences his team and yells, “The one thing Tennessee always does is kicks the s— out of Vanderbilt.” Then they all sing some song in unison about being better than Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt. Yes, that’s right, Vanderbilt. They’re celebrating a win over Vanderbilt. I wish you could see it.

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Shackleford’s Sunday News & Views

Shackleford won the Preakness

Shackleford won the Preakness, leading from start to finish. His trainer is Louisvillian Dale Romans. Shackleford’s morning line was 12-1. Animal Kingdom made a great run at the end to give folks hope for another Triple Crown, but it was too little, too late for this race. Harvey Milk would have been a much more respectable person for tonight’s slot as he would have turned 80 on May 22, and Harold Camping would have been a much more hilarious one. Make sure everyone stays tuned to what he says so that we can fill out our Rapture Excuse Bingo sheets!

– The Rapture didn’t happen, I don’t think. But a huge thunderstorm randomly hit right at 6pm. Tried to listen for a voice in the distance, but maybe I was wrong in assuming God/Jesus spoke English?

– The UK softball team got a huge victory over Michigan and advanced to the school’s 2nd regional final ever. Tomorrow, play for a trip to the Super Regional at 1pm on ESPN.

– The UK men’s tennis team took a loss against defending champion Southern California and finished their season with an Elite Eight finish. Congrats on a great season guys.

– The UK baseball team exchanged beat downs with Florida this weekend. They lost handily tonight (19-3) after winning handily (14-1) Friday evening, allowing UF to clinch a tie for the SEC title. Not the best season for the baseball boys, but that’s alright.

– Props to Waitin’ On 8 from Kentucky Sports Network for pointing this great thing out – A Smack Talk Generator. Gives out some great stuff for whenever you need to compare your team to another and the other party just isn’t ’seeing the light’.

– Eloy Vargas went for 2 pts and 8 boards (team leading) tonight against Lithuania. More interesting/unimpressive than that? The two teams TIED 77-77. Ties in basketball are just unacceptable. But I guess they are just out there having fun, so that’s cool.

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An LA Lawyer, Adult Entertainer, Drew Franklin And KSR: A Love Story

Drew Frankilin Love StoryI thought Sunday was going to be a stress-free day. After four weeks of basically going non-stop, Sunday was going to be the first day in which I finally had nothing planned. The day was going to be spent at the KSR Compound, watching games with the Turkey Hunter, making fun of television announcers and devising jokes to write about Mark Coury. Then came the email. In one moment, the day of rest became the day of legal absurdity, all because of the bizarreness that is KSR. I opened an email entitled: URGENT: Immediate Response Needed! When I realized it was not from a Nigerian king, but rather from a lawyer in Los Angeles (for his sake of anonymity, we will just name him “Michael”), I knew I was in for a grand afternoon. The email contained a letter that said this:

Dear Mr. Jones,

We are attorneys for Samantha Ryan. We have been alerted to the following article (enclosed) currently posted on your website

DrewkidTop 5 reasons being a UK fan is better than being Samantha Ryan

(1.) We are content with the fact that most of our guys could be “one and done.” Samantha Ryan can’t stomach the thought

(2.) Kentucky can take six highly touted recruits, combine them with seven hungry players, and make the best team in the nation. Samantha Ryan can take 13 guys, at once, and make her father disappointed.

(3.) A great day to UK fans includes bourbon and horses. A great day to Samantha Ryan includes bourbon and… well… horses.

(4.) UK fans erupt after watching the Wildcats’ good penetration, going back door, and slamming it in. On second thought, Samantha does, too.

(5.) Earlier this season, Ben Roethlisberger came in Rupp Arena…Hmmm we’re not so different after all.

Are you sure you’re not a Kentucky fan, Samantha?

The above statements are false and defamatory. We have also been informed of similar defamatory statements and statements that portray our client in a false light made on the air. These statements constitute actionable defamation and false light. Further, there is an unauthorized photograph of our client on the site.

We hereby demand that you immediately remove the article from your website. We also demand that in its place, you post a correction stating that the statements made were untrue. We also demand that you correct on air the fact that the statements made about our client on your broadcast were untrue.

Please provide proof of correction to us immediately. If we do not hear from you, we will seek an injunction and damages.

Sincerely,

Michael

There goes my peaceful Sunday afternoon. When I first read the email, I must admit that I assumed it had to be a prank. Because the KSR legal staff (right now me…but feel free to apply) has been working extra hours recently dealing with whiny complaints from entities near and far, my assumption was that one of my friends had tried to think of the most ridiculous lawsuit possible and then sent the letter. “Hey I got it…what would be the most bizarre thing we could do Hubby? I got it, lets act like we are lawyers and say that KSR defamed a star…Matt will love it.” But then I inspected the email, looked online, and sure enough….Michael and the letter were real.

Now one could quickly ask two question. First, who in their right mind would think that Drew’s article was serious? Samantha Ryan had written an article entitled “Top 5 Reasons Being a KU Fan is Better Than Being a Kentucky Fan.” , and Drew responded with what is so obviously a PARODY that no one in their right mind could think it was true. Look at that list again…really Michael? You guys think THAT was supposed to be fact based? And then step 2, does anyone really believe that even if that list were true and not a parody, that it would be possible to defame her with it? One quick internet search provided by the Turkey Hunter showcased a slew of “movies” Ryan had been in with titles that were more risque than anything ever even fathomed to be put on KSR. And Drew’s blog post ruined her reputation? Child please!

Kentucky drewkling

So I decided, it was time to call Michael and try to work this out. What followed was a 30 minute phone conversation so surreal that I am not even sure it really took place. Michael went one by one through Drew’s list of five and said why each of them were (a) not true and (b) needed to be removed. Good taste prevents me from recounting that conversation in detail, but lets just say that the Turkey Hunter was in the background and I am not sure I have ever seen him laughing harder at anything. At one point Michael even said, “you also suggest she drinks bourbon…she does not drink bourbon!” I responded, “you are telling me that a famous star believes she was defamed because we said she drinks bourbon???? You cannot be serious!” Michael said he indeed was and that he was taking this matter very seriously. I suggested to him that it couldnt be all that seriously since he was alleging we said things “on the air”, when we dont even have a show in which to say something on the air and he then responded, “well it may have been on Twitter or something like that.” Yeah maybe.

So I then asked Michael what he wanted. He demanded a retraction and the post be removed. I then went into full “lawdog” mode and said this: “Look, the post is off the front page now, and no one will ever see it again. BUT if you want it removed, I will. However when I do it, I will post a NEW post about this story and it will only make things worse by bringing it up again. Your client really can’t want that, can she.” I was assured that yes, that was what Samantha wanted. I then asked well, what if I dont do it. He said that he would then look to all legal remedies, including a potential case against KSR and Drew Franklin individually. I then lost is for a second and said this:

“This is beyond ridiculous and seriously must be a dream. You mean to tell me that you are going to sue us for a silly blog post that is clearly in jest when your client is a STAR! And sue us for what? What could possibly be her damages? She doesfor a living and you think somehow we have somehow sullied her reputation? Are you serious? And sue Drew individually? Do you understand that Drew does not currently have a job and wears velcro shoes? What exactly are you suing him for, his hair gel?”

Michael however would not budge and demanded a correction. Even though we did nothing wrong and Drew (god love him) did not defame anyone, I agreed to give one. But as I promised him, the retraction would be done KSR-style. So here we go. If anyone out there believed that Drew was serious and that Samantha Ryan did not like “one and dones”, knows Ben Roethlisberger, drinks bourbon or did any of the other things Drew jokingly suggested, then let me say, KSR was parodying the situation and was not saying it has any knowledge of any of it being truthful. Further, if any of you thought that was true, seriously get out of the house and try to understand what is parody and what is not. To whatever extent anyone could have even fathomed that Drew was doing anything but writing his normal, insulting nonsense, KSR apologizes. We know nothing about Samantha Ryan beyond her movie career titles and wish her nothing but the best. KSR would never sully the reputation of anyone intentionally and certainly not someone like Samantha. Drew, along with the fans of Northern Iowa, would like us all to move past this.

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